Stars Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz, Sophia Myles, Li Bing Bing, TJ Miller, Thomas Lennon and Titus Welliver Vocal performances by Peter Cullen, John Goodman, Ken Watanabe, Mark Ryan, Frank Welker, Reno Wilson and John DiMaggio Directed by Michael Bay Michael Bay returns for a fourth round of those rambunctious eye-candy, The Transformers. So, If I issue a “SPOILER WARNING” - would it matter? This is the fourth entry in a series, so by this point, either you’re gonna love it or hate it, and you know if you’re gonna see it or not bother at all. If you’re willing to press on to read further, well… thank you for your attention. I’ll try to be more entertaining. The movie opens in the Jurassic period - or thereabouts - and in seemingly history muddling tradition of the Transformers movies, they set it up that the extinction of the dinosaurs was brought about by a mysterious alien race that are somehow tied to our giant robots. It’s much later we learn that we have glimpsed the makers of the giant robots themselves - and promptly ignored by jumping to the present day; 5 years after the Chicago incident of Dark Of The Moon. The amicable relations between the US Government and the Autobots is out the window and the humans are now - supposedly - hunting all transformers. But LO! They are working with an outside faction that appears to be neither Autobot nor Decepticon; a powerful and mysterious - yet generic looking - transformer called Lockdown, who appears to be some kind of bounty hunter looking for Optimus Prime. Why? Who cares. It’s an excuse for blowing shit up and tearing some robots down. Of the original characters, only Optimus Prime and Bumblebee return with all new looks and designs. Optimus is first rediscovered in a run-down cinema by Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) after getting an earful about the sorry state of movies these days with their reboots and sequels (ha ha). Optimus is in an even sorrier state than the cinema (see trailer) and quite battle damaged. He later says he needs his companions to help effect some repairs, but that’s glossed over when he scans another truck and somehow gets an upgrade without repairs - and it turns out by the end of the movie… HE CAN FLY! Where the heck was THAT during the rest of the movie when he was being chased around by the human hunters of Cemetery Wind, led by Savoy (a very cool looking Titus Welliver, acting like he’s in The Matrix) or even Lockdown? It’s a little like the Lord of The Rings problem… like if you had those damn giant eagles or giant butterflies, when the heck did you need to walk to the damn volcano? Referencing Lord of The Rings further, the deal with the dinobots (see the posters and trailers) comes across like the one Aragon strikes with that ghost army! “I’ll give you your freedom, but first, serve me by being my lap dog and help trash those other robots.” These are NOT your papa’s dinobots, no matter how cool they may look on screen.
Oh yes, a big deal was made about the human element for this round, so while we finally bypass the annoying screeching of Shia’s Sam Witwicky and his equally annoying companions, we’re saddled with somewhat deadbeat inventor dad, Cade, who is heavily in debt and overly protective of stunningly hot (and typically model-like Bay Babes) daughter, Tessa (Nicola Peltz). He would spend more non-existent money on a hunk of junk, believing his next invention will rake in the cash to pay for daughter’s college education. What makes him a great dad? For the film, it’s his willingness to wade into an insane situation to rescue her from the insane situation he put her in. Beyond that, we have Stanley Tucci’s so called entrepreneur taking every crazy scientific short-cut (never a good idea) to ‘create’ products aimed at military use, thanks to his connection to Kelsey Grammer’s ex-CIA/military goon, who’s also running Cemetery Wind. End result? Say hello to a troop of new Decepticons with a visually fascinating and intriguing ‘transforming’ mode - that gets left behind once the carnage starts. Therein lies a majority of the problems. The plot is there to serve the action and the action tends to forget a lot of the cool visuals that are introduced. Lots of ideas and almost no retention. Lots of visual flash - as one would expect from Michael Bay - and lots of redundancy. The action set-pieces get boring as the movie progresses that when the Dinobots finally show up way into the third act, there’s no vitality. It’s crash-boom-bang and catch ya next time. Yes, there’s a set-up for the next instalment. Still, if you’re in it for the action - and given the nature of the film - it’s best to go big, take in an IMAX 3D screening, or a normal 3D screening. The design is definitely rolling that way and it’s the best eye-candy available for a live-action film - if you can take in all the debris detail. Just check your brain and heart at the door. Rating ***
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